Sex: a three letter word that many are afraid to talk about. But why? In a culture where sex is displayed on TV, social media, and billboards shouldn’t we be talking about it? In my opinion our culture is open to sex, but the Church has still been afraid to have conversations around it. This blog is not to place shame or blame upon the Church. It is my heart that the Church would learn from the past (both successes and failures) and come up higher in this area.
Above is a photo showing a statistic where 65% of regular church attenders have had sex prior to marriage. **DISCLAIMER: In no way am I promoting this podcast, there are a lot of things on there that I do not agree with. This statistic just stood out to me!** Seeing this statistic grieves me. I feel as if sex should and needs to be talked about inside of the church in a healthy way.
My experience of sex being talked about in church has been the following:
1) Not explaining the WHY we wait until marriage and approaching sex as a shameful thing. A few of my friends that did sleep with their significant others before marriage, felt so much shame and condemnation from the church that they ended up leaving. The beauty of sex inside of marriage was never talked about and those who did have sex before marriage were given no hope, love, or counsel only condemnation.
2) Through another stream, I was taught to just be careful. Go as far as you want…just don’t have sex! There was no shepherding and no boundaries. This is quite the opposite side of the coin, and is also not healthy. From the group that I was in, there were only two of us that didn’t get pregnant outside of marriage.
We need mothers and fathers to step up and share the truth and beauty of waiting until marriage! Many young people have experienced abuse and need shepherded through sexual addictions. Church is family, and I feel there needs to be more family conversations happening done in love and not shame!
To those who were shamed by the church, on behalf of them I say, “I’m so sorry for how we treated you.” You are loved, you are pure, and you are holy! That is your identity in Christ.
To those whose innocence were stolen from you, I’m so sorry! May there be healing and hope poured out. I pray beauty would come from the ashes! God is a redeeming God, and I pray he redeems every broken thing you’ve been through.
May the Lord teach us how to have healthy conversations around this topic!!
3 thoughts on “Let’s talk about sex!”
I really love the way you addresses the topic of sex/purity in this post. It seems like as a Christian you can fall into two different extremes. God created sex, and it is holy and beautiful–inside of marriage. And the good news is that if you have sinned in this area, Jesus paid for it with His blood to free you! One great book to check out on this topic is Sex and the Single Girl by Dr. Juli Slattery. She touches on both the practical and the spiritual aspects of sex.
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and the book suggestion. I will have to check it out!
I became a Christian in my late 20’s.,, I was very sexual and still have temptations, the hard part is not going all the way…good post