As I was finishing up a client’s house, vacuuming their floors, the Lord invited me into a sweet conversation. He was asking me questions, and I was asking Him for the answers. Throughout all these questions, the Lord began to show me that one of my life messages is belonging. If you enter my little apartment you will see magnets on my fridge that say, “Kendra, you have a place at the table.” OR you will see written on my mirror, “You belong.” They’re not just random phrases I have throughout the apartment. At one point in time, they were reminders to FIGHT to believe that truth. Now, they’re a mark of sweet revelations that I received from Jesus, and reminders of the truth I received.
For years I never felt as if I belonged. As a child, I was extremely quiet and shy, where the rest of my family were all extremely extroverted. In high school, I was voted homecoming queen, but still believed that no one cared for me. As an adult, I served at a couple of churches, and felt I was so far behind everyone else, and had nothing to offer. I just flat out believed that I didn’t belong with my family, at my school, in the church, or in the world. Throughout the years the Lord began to address things inside of me that changed this thinking.
The first thing the Lord revealed to me was that I had to repent for the lie that says, “I am rejected.” The truth is that Jesus will never reject me; therefore, I am not rejected. I began to realize that when I believe this lie, I am calling Him a liar. His Word tells me that I belong. The Bible says that He will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5-6). When I was agreeing with rejection, I was also saying that the truth Jesus was speaking over me was a lie. I began to repent and speak out loud that God is not a liar. The words He is speaking over me are true. I noticed as I began to shift my thinking and come out of agreement with rejection that I began having sweet friendships. I have had the most friends I have ever had, and it has been extremely healing for me.
The next revelation I received was that belonging is what I actually bring to the body of Christ. One day I was in a staff meeting, and everyone was encountering the Lord in beautiful ways. For some reason I was not feeling what they all were. It was as if I were a fly on the wall just observing. Now, I know it is not all about feelings. However, on this day I was flat out wrestling with the fact that I was the only one that wasn’t encountering the Lord. At the end of the meeting, a lady came up to hug me, and could tell I was frustrated. I began to share how I just didn’t feel as if I belonged there, and how I believed I was the odd man out. I told her that If we are the body of Christ, I was just the pinky toe that is barely connected. I know…I know… I can be a drama queen sometimes! 🙂 After a motherly hug, she said, “Kendra, the enemy is trying to rob you from the very thing you bring to the table. You may be feeling like you don’t belong, but that is what you bring to the body of Christ: belonging. You make others feel like they belong, and bring the ‘outcasts’ to the table.” Something shifted in me that day. A light bulb turned on and shone brightly on those dark thoughts I was believing. Every meeting after that one I would remind myself before going in that not only do I belong, but I let others know that they belong too.
Lastly, the Lord showed me it is OK to be different. My personality, the way I think and feel is so unique, but it’s beautiful. Who I am is enough, for I was perfectly created by a Creator who doesn’t make mistakes. For years, I have measured and compared myself to others around me. The Lord has broken a lot of measuring sticks, but I am still on a journey of coming out of agreement with self-hatred. I am learning to love what the Lord loves and that includes me. He loves me completely just as I am.
If you are feeling as if you do not belong, I would encourage you to do these three things:
- Ask the Lord what He is thinking, and what is on His heart. Grab a journal and just write down the things that you are hearing. You will probably find that He is speaking a lot of truth over you. Go back and declare and agree with the words He is speaking.
- WORSHIP! Worship helps get our minds off of ourselves and back onto the Lord.
- Every day choose to receive the love of the Lord, and ask Him for a revelation of His love. His love for you is more than we can imagine, so just receive it all. It covers our sins, draws us to Himself, and changes us!
You belong! You have a place at the table of Christ. There is a seat just for YOU!