It was a Sunday afternoon, and my best friend Bekah and I resorted to our after church tradition, which included begging our parents to go to each other’s houses. After much pleading, my parents agreed that Bekah could come over. I enjoyed choreographing dances and putting on a production for all to see. It was even better when I could get my brother or friends to do it with me. This particular Sunday, we rolled out the gymnastic mat, turned on some music, dressed up, and danced our hearts away.

As time progressed, I had another great friend, Alex. She was a beautiful dancer and danced since she was itty bitty. We began taking classes together. I did all the dance classes: ballet, jazz, tap, hip hop, and gymnastics. I loved dance, but I did not enjoy being on the stage. I would much rather dance in front of my family and friends than a crowd of strangers. At recitals, I would sit back and watch lyrical with my mouth wide open. I loved the beauty of the advanced ballet dancers. Years later, I decided to just stick with gymnastics and stop all other dance classes, but that still didn’t stop my dance. I continued choreographing dances with friends from school and church in the privacy of my home.

Somewhere along the way I ended up losing my dance completely. My feet became shackled to the floor. The twirling and leaping became replaced with sways back and forth while my feet were planted to the floor. The dancing in my house ceased. In a crowded concert, I was the one that refused to participate in the jumping and dancing. The girl who once danced to the chorus, “Take the shackles off my feet, so I can dance.” was now bound by chains. How ironic!

Recently, I was sitting under a tree and reading my Bible. The cutest little girl came up close to me and was so innocently and beautifully dancing. It was organic and joyful. As she was spinning and twirling, I began to weep. I heard the Lord say, “I am restoring your dance and stripping away the fear of man.” I can see all along the fear of man held me back in dance. Even from a young age the thought, “I don’t want to look stupid!” has tormented me.

I don’t want to go back to that little girl dancing, because she was still wrapped up in so much fear of other’s thoughts of her. The Lord is RESTORING the dance of my youth. What does it mean to restore? I like how Ryan Johnson defined it: “The Biblical meaning of the word ‘restoration’ is to receive back more than has been lost to the point where the final state is greater than the original condition.” He is making my dance even better than it was in my youth.

The truth is I don’t want to dance for the sake of others. The Lord is worthy of ALL of my praise, which includes the dance that is in my heart. He is worthy of looking like a fool. He is worthy of being wild for. He is worthy of it ALL! Why am I sharing this publicly? Because it is an area I no longer want to hide and be bound in. I am bringing this to light, and I am believing that the Lord is bringing freedom. I am dancing my way into freedom. I will be like David who danced with all his might. I will sing and dance like Miriam when she was redeemed from slavery. The shackles are falling off my feet, so I can dance…because I just want to praise Him.

[SIDE NOTE: It is 8PM at night as I am writing this and “Dancing in the Moonlight” came on. Now…let’s get my dance on!! ]